Just realized I've been torquing stems wrong for 8 years
Was helping a friend build up his bike in Denver last weekend and he handed me his torque wrench, said 'you're going too far on the top cap, that's for the steerer not the handlebar clamp.' I must have stripped a few bolts back in the day without knowing. Anyone else have a basic step they got backwards forever until someone called it out?
Learned this one the hard way too but your friend has it a little mixed up. The top cap bolt is what preloads the headset bearings, so it does go through the stem into the steerer, but you barely snug it, like 2 or 3 Nm. It's the stem clamp bolts on the steerer that hold everything in place after. The handlebar clamp is a different set of bolts on the faceplate and those get whatever your bar or stem says, usually 5 to 6 Nm. Overdoing the top cap is bad because you crush the bearings, not because it's the wrong part. Stripped bolts usually come from going way past spec on the stem or bar clamps, so grab a torque wrench and check those first.