Got told I was 'too nice' in meetings and it actually helped

A senior PM pulled me aside after a project review last month and said I need to stop saying 'sorry' before every suggestion. I didn't even realize I was doing it, but apparently it made me sound unsure even when I knew the answer. I started just stating my opinion flat out without the apology, and now people actually listen more. Has anyone else had to unlearn a habit like that at work?

2 comments

2 Comments

ninal911d ago

Wait, did that actually work for you right away? I'm honestly surprised because saying sorry is like a reflex for me too. I notice women get told this way more than men do, and it kind of makes me mad. But then again, your point about people actually listening is hard to ignore. I guess there's something to just owning your thoughts without all the softening words. Might try this tomorrow at my own team standup, even if it feels super awkward at first.

hayes.tara1d ago

Took me about three weeks of forcing it before it felt natural. The first few days I came off a little aggressive I think because the swing was so big. But around day 10 I realized nobody was looking at me weird and my ideas actually got discussed instead of glossed over. Now I just save the sorry for when I actually mess something up, which is way less often than I used to think.