My old manager's advice about saying no felt wrong until I tried it

I had a chat with my old manager, Dave, over coffee in Nashville last Tuesday. He told me he built his entire career on refusing extra projects unless they came with a clear promotion path, and I thought he was just being lazy. Then I tracked my own time for a month and saw 14 hours a week going to things that didn't help me at all, so I gave it a shot. Now I tell people 'that's not in my lane' and it's weird how much more respect I get, has anyone else had to learn that the hard way?

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ray_king2d ago

You said you tracked your time and found 14 hours a week going to stuff that did not help you, so I want the details. Which specific tasks were eating those hours? Was it meetings, side projects, favors for other teams? And when you started saying "that's not in my lane," did anyone push back or try to guilt you? I keep hearing this advice but nobody ever breaks down what the actual boundary looks like in practice. Give me a real example of one thing you cut and how the conversation went.

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