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Just realized my writing teacher's 'show, don't tell' advice was wrong for my first chapter
He said 'your character is just a list of adjectives right now' after reading 5 pages, so I rewrote it as her fixing a broken radio to show her patience instead. Anyone else get feedback that flipped a whole scene for them?
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paulperry6mo ago
That fishing line example really hits home. I see this all the time with my neighbor. He never talks about being a careful person, but you can tell by the way he repaints his fence before a single chip shows. Actions just stick with you more than labels. It's like people prove who they are by what they do, not what they say they are.
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gibson.oliver5mo ago
My old guitar teacher had this rule about never naming a chord, just showing the finger placement. Reminds me of what @paulperry said about his neighbor's fence. The right detail changes everything.
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charlie_hayes506mo ago
Oh man, that's the best kind of feedback. My beta reader once said my hero just felt "angry all the time." So instead of saying he was bitter, I wrote a scene where he meticulously untangles a knotted fishing line instead of just cutting it. That one action showed his stubborn control way better than any adjective. Your radio fix is perfect for that.
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