Same thing happens with highway billboards: the punchline never survives the drive-by, so keep the setup and cut the rest.

the beam was way brighter than I expected" yeah thats the thing with green lasers, they look dim to your eye but the actual beam is crazy strong. Green shows up way better at night than red so of course it lit up the whole gutter. If you want something calmer for the kids, get a low power green pointer (under 5mW) or just stick with the red flashlight, honestly the red one is safer anyway since planes and cars wont catch it as easy. The 35 dollar ones are usually way over the legal limit which is why it was bouncing off everything.

Swear his 6 gallon vac would pull" is like thinking a bigger sponge cleans better than scrubbing, lol.