A beta reader told me my fantasy world needed more normal jobs

I got a note from a beta reader last month that said, 'Your world has wizards and knights, but who makes the bread?' It hit me that I'd spent 200 pages on magic systems and zero on regular people. I changed my outline to add a scene where my main character talks to a baker about supply problems. It made the city feel real in a way the big battles didn't. Has anyone else gotten a simple note that flipped a whole story for them?

3 comments

3 Comments

seth_carr21d ago

So did adding that baker scene change how you wrote the other characters too?

the_ruby10d ago

Totally changed the whole book. That baker walked in and suddenly my detective looked like a moody teenager. Had to rewrite half his scenes because his tough guy talk just sounded stupid after a normal guy talked about oven temperatures. Now the sidekick keeps making jokes about sourdough. Honestly might let the baker solve the case.

victor_barnes4821d ago

Honestly, did it ever. Suddenly the detective couldn't just brood over coffee, he had to actually eat a pastry and talk to a normal person. It made his tough guy act seem pretty silly next to a guy worried about burnt croissants. I had to soften him up just so the scene wouldn't feel totally fake. Now I'm stuck wondering if the baker should show up again to call him out on his bad attitude.