My cord pile is so bad I charge my phone by following the sound of the sparking.

Man, I have to push back on this one. A longer pierce delay on 3/8 is not some magic trick, it is just basic physics, thick metal needs more time for the arc to punch through before the machine starts moving (if you go too fast you get spatter and a messed up hole every time). But going way longer than needed does not give you clean holes and double nozzle life, that is a stretch. What probably happened is his table had the pierce height set right and yours was off, because height matters way more than the delay on plate that thick. You said it yourself, the slow pierce feels wrong, and that is usually your gut telling you something. I would check your height and your air before you credit a 0.3 second change for seven hours of nozzle life (just saying, that math does not add up in my head).